TRUTH from our friend on huffpost the other day...

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TRUTH from our friend on huffpost the other day…

original article here:



04/18/2016 09:43 am ET | Updated 1 day ago

It’s Time to Stop Hating Your Body

What is your history with your body? What is your relationship with your physical presence in the world?

These are hard questions to answer. Because the answers usually hurt.

For most of us, if we’re honest, our relationship with our bodies is one of the most complicated and conflicted of our lives.

Many of us, when we think of our bodies, have a laundry list of complaints. From the way we look, to the way we move, to the illness we may carry. When we step back, then, and boil all those complaints down, our bodies become the source of two deep emotions: hate and fear.

“I hate the way my thighs rub when I walk.” “I am so afraid I will get cancer like my mother.” “I know boys don’t like bony girls.” “I hate getting old.”

We all have it. I know I sure have it. I can’t even fathom the number of times I haven’t gone to the beach because I didn’t want to get in a bathing suit, or that I’ve looked in the mirror, pulling my face this way and that, then letting out a big groan. Or how many times I’ve shamed my body, out loud, to others, cursing either the way it looks, or the way it’s changed as I’ve gotten older.

We all have that list of things that we say, to ourselves, and to others about the way we hate about our bodies. What we fear our bodies will do to us, to our lives. And we play out that dialogue, every single day, over and over.

Take a moment, and think to yourself, honestly about how many messages you send to your body every day that are negative. I know for me, it can be too many to count.

This has become a cultural way of life, our hating ourselves. And bonding with each other over the shared disdain of our physical presence. Then, we pass it on with each generation.

Think about what the world tells you about your body? What are the messages you have gotten about how to treat your physical self?

If you carry extra weight, the world says you’re lazy. If you are too thin, the world says you’re neurotic. If you have illness, the world says you’re weak. If you can’t bear children, you’re to be pitied. Yet, if you grind yourself into the ground through work, lack of sleep, “killer” workouts, the world applauds your efforts.

We, as a society, embrace our duality. The body is separate from “us.” It is something to be mastered, denied, beat up, overcome.

Think about exercise. We are supposed to “whip ourselves” into shape. “No pain, no gain.” If it isn’t hard, or painful, or torturous, it isn’t good enough. We stopped making exercise an enjoyable expression of movement and vitality, and made it into a form of punishment that is rewarded by an appearance obsessed society.

Make no mistake, we are obsessed with beauty. We will do most anything to achieve it. We have pills, and shots, and workouts, and lasers, and surgeries to try and fix those things about our bodies that aren’t good enough. And we tell ourselves that all the time; as I am, I am not good enough. So, we spend millions on trying to achieve our society’s ideal of perfect beauty. Because without it, we think we are too old, or too big, or too small, or too ugly to be loved. And while I look at myself in the mirror, contemplating how much acid it would actually take to peel off the years my face has earned, I have to look at what my body, our collective bodies, are hearing: “I hate you enough to inject you with toxins, to burn you, to cut you, because you aren’t good enough and it’s making me miserable.”

We hate our bodies for aging in a world consumed by youth, and yet we are terrified of dying. We curse our skin for sagging, our backs for aching, our eyesight for growing dim… all while popping vitamins and tonics trying to allay our fears of showing and feeling our age. We refuse to see that we can’t not die and not grow old at the same time.

What about sex? What words come out of our mouths about our bodies and their sexuality? Usually, that we aren’t desirable as we are. We will be, when we lose those ten pounds, or get waxed, or tone up our ass. Because nobody’s going to want to see thisnaked. But we forget that we are living, dynamic beings who don’t just want to have sex with each other because of how we look. OK, maybe sometimes. But when we are in a grounded, honest space, we want to have sex with each other because of how we feel, and how we feel with that other person. Sex is a union, a gift of sharing all of who you are with someone else, not just the perfect parts. Because perfect is boring. Messy is chaotic beauty at its best. It’s not the perfect push up bra, or the gap between your thighs, or the world’s longest erection. It’s your messy, human, divine self, and that’s beautiful.

We have come by these views honestly, by way of social conditioning over great spans of history. Not just the obsession of what lies in the mirror, but also the message that the physical is our burden to bear. Most all patriarchal religious systems teach us that the body is something to be overcome. In Christianity, is it to overcome the desires of the flesh that lead us to evil. In Buddhism, it is to overcome the physical needs of the body that weaken our ability to meditate and hinder our transcendence.

Think of how often you refuse to listen to your body. Whether its message is about food, sleep, stress, pain… how often do you “push past” what your body is trying to tell you? How often do you ignore your own physical needs? And how often do you brag about it, or receive praise from others for doing so?

We are lost in the duality of ourselves. We need to recognize that our bodies are an integral part of our being. We cannot exist without them. And we cannot expect our body to carry us through life, while we beat it up, day after day, without breaking down.

In Andrew Harvey’s book, The Direct Path, he says “How can we not fear and despise the body that is the source of so much anxiety and distress?” It’s natural, given the messages we tell ourselves every day. So, we have to change the conversation. Both with ourselves, and with each other. It will be hard, feeling almost impossible at times. To rid ourselves, as Harvey states, of all the cultural, sexual, and religious assumptions that teach you physical self-contempt.

But we must. We must stop the self-contempt.

We must learn to be compassionate to our skin.

We must be respectful to our bones.

We must be grateful to our hearts.

We must be in love with our own smiles.

We must come to see our bodies just as we do our spirits; an incarnation of the Divine in this form, so that it can express itself.

We are uniquely, beautifully, strangely us. And we need to start loving each and every part. Even those parts we want to transform. Especially those parts we think make us unattractive, unworthy, unlovable. Lean into them. Love yourself anyway. And never let yourself hate your body again. Because, really, one day you will be without it. And then, we will all realize the beautiful gift that it was, each and every lump and bump.

So, just for today, love who you are. Just as you are. Because you are beautiful. Because you are strong. Because you are compassionate. Because you are worth loving.

Fall in love with yourself. There’s no more important person on the planet for you to be in love with.

If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.

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New Year’s UNresolutions – FAIL?!

Hey friends of #dreric and #SMHA!

I have a bone to pick.  An itch I can’t scratch.  Some venting to do.  Or maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself…

But it is THE MIDDLE OF APRIL and I haven’t been able to fullfill my New Year’s UNresolutions SEE??!! this is why I don’t make any resolutions! Because this happens every year.  By Easter, I am still me!  Still the same bigger, older, slower more “mature” person, damnit!


I don’t know why I am surprised, or why literally year after year, I get to about NOW and am in a DEEP funk because I can’t just accept ME.  After all, I am doing my very BEST to be the BEST person I can.  Aren’t YOU?

So, I thought I’d VENT a bit just in case you all are feeling any at all of the same.  Every day, I literally get up and think, today I will forgive myself, start new, appreciate me, and do my best.  “Infinite patience and kindnes” is literally a mantra at our house.  And each day, at the end of the day, I am still sore, and tired, and frustrated, and anxious.  Still ME.  Why can’t I just be ME?  Me is AWESOME!  Me has a great life.  I am thankful for every single moment.  I do plenty of self care.  I work out regularly.  We eat really well.  I take all of my Dr. Eric presribed supplements.  We have plenty of fun family events.  I have an amazing family.  I get enough “me time,” etc.

So why does this linger always?  By August I assume I’ll be back in a better place.  From experience, I know this to be true.  Maybe I’m just slow to adjust or accept.  Maybe the Holidays take a DEEP toll.  Maybe it’s the weather?  Who knows.  That is the great lesson.  “It’s the question that drives us… Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize just as I did that there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.” -Morpheus (oops! didn’t mean to get all Matrix on you!)DownloadedFile

I just wanted to share.  That I am working every day on being present and being me and being ok with that.  I hope you are too.

I’ll leave you with the blog I wrote back in January…because three months later, it still applies.  We’ve got to just keep on keepin’ on.  Here are my suggestions titled “Better Late Than Never – 10 Easy Steps to Healthy in 2014”

I am proud of us for doing it every day… Oh, and enjoy your Spring Break!Pug-Easter-Bunny-easter-33738293-528-529


Coby Dahlstrom (#mrsdrdahl)


Dr. Eric P. Dahlstrom, D.C., L.Ac.
Santa Monica Healing Arts
Providing Chiropractic Care and Acupuncture in Santa Monica since 1999 ( Check out our 5-star Review on Yelp ( or find us on facebook (
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and just in case the link doesn’t work, here’s a repost!:

Better Late Than Never: 10 Easy Steps to Healthy in 2014

Welcome to 2014!

Boy, is it me, or is that really sometimes just a LOT of pressure…?

I don’t know about YOU, but I try to give myself some serious wiggle room at the first of the year.  Following all that celebrating, it can be really hard to get back on track, even when there is nothing in the world that you want more.

What you CAN do is just allow yourself to take the new year slowly.  Wow, oh yeah, right! (slaps forehead…)!  One of the most beautiful things about January is that for the first time in quite a while, no one is in a hurry.  Try not to expect overnight miracles.  Be patient with yourself; let it happen.

images-9And that explains why I am finally sitting down to write this on January 15th!  Ha! that’s how slow and patient I have been with myself.

BTW, I’m not suggesting that you continue the holiday gluttony, have low standards, or that you can or should be lazy.  Just, take it easy!  What’s the rush?  Try to be the best you can be EACH DAY.  No more no less.  At least, that’s what I tell myself.

These are my 10 easy, comfortable, simple goals for January…

if you like them, play along!


1) Drink Water

How hard is that?

It is truly amazing how few of us actually drink enough water.  No, you don’t have to do the “8 glasses a day” deal, but try, really try, to drink water all day.  It is especially therapeutic to do so first thing in the morning.  It is in fact, an ancient Ayurvedic practice to do so.  ”In Sanskrit, the name for the practice is Usha Paana Chikitsa, which roughly translates to “early morning water treatment.”

During the day, try to remember that more often than not, you are NOT hungry, you are just bored and thirsty.  Did you know that by the time your body registers thirst, you are already dehydrated?  And of course, everyone knows that your body is mostly made up of water (at birth, babies are approx 75% water!) so replenishing it is just a good idea.

Here’s what I tell my kids: “when the dishes are dirty, we wash them, when our clothes are dirty, we wash them…when you body is dirty, wash it.”  Drinking water literally washes you clean, from the inside.  Sweat it out, and you’ve done a little detox.  Clean face?  clearer, less-noxious excretions?  Put more water in, and the cleaner you are FROM THE INSIDE OUT.

My secret?  I drink bubbly water!  LOVE it!  And the tools I use to make it happen are the reverse osmosis filter on my kitchen sink, and a Soda Stream!



more info:

for filter info:

and Soda Stream info:


2) Start Your Engine Right images

Everyone knows by now that it is important to get your metabolism up and running well in the morning.  Here are just a few little tips about how you might want to do that.  First, be sure to include protein in your breakfast (and be sure to EAT BREAKFAST).  Ideas: eggs, sausage, bacon, yogurt with nuts & berries, turkey slices, toast with peanut butter, or even beans on toast (what do the Brits call that again?)

Also, try to do a little something athletic as literally , THE first thing in your day.  For example: 5 push ups, or 10 jumping jacks, walk around the block, or even just jump up and down for a few minutes.  Believe it or not, even a little bit like that will get your motor running and bring up your heart rate first thing.

I am most definitely not a morning person, and I am certainly not advocating waking up before the sun if you don’t have to.  But, If you can, I recommend fitting in your exercise in the morning.  I am just so much NICER after I work out (more blood to my brain etc. wipes away the morning grumpy).  Me, I like to head straight to the gym for a class after I drop the kids off at school.  Not everyone has that luxury of course, so if you can only fit it in after work, DO.  You will feel so much better!


more info:


3) Exercise a Little Each Day

No, it doesn’t have to be a huge sweat-fest that burns thousands of calories and leaves you muscles bulging.  But doing stuff feels good, so treat yourself!  Take a 20 to 30 minute break everyday (or more if you can manage).  Walk your dogs.  Lay on the ground and stretch and twist.  Try a new class at the gym.  Ride your bike.  Walk to work.  Take the stairs.  It all counts and it all results in GOOD.  And you’ll find that if you start small, it’s easier to get stronger whereas, if you start too big, you’ll peter out fast.  But either way, if you miss a day, or it’s tough for a while, don’t give up.


4) Limit Your Sugars

Yes, after the holidays this is difficult.  Fffftttt.  Most of us have let down our guard and our systemic yeast populations are thriving on too much sugar intake.  And by sugar I don’t just mean See’s Candies (oh those are soooooOOooo good and evil!) but also, all kinds of grain, processed foods, and milk and juices too.  It all breaks down to sugar in our systems.

Why is sugar so bad? oh geez. I’m just writing a little blurb here so I can’t get too into it. but so many reasons. Basically, it can very easily throw off the chemical balance of your delicate inner ecosystem.  From Candida, to glucose intolerance, ADHD, weight gain, depression, fibromyalgia, autoimmune disorders, hormone imbalance, fatigue, endometriosis, brian chemistry, diabetes, the list is sooooo very long!

images-1So what I do is this: I simply start to make better sugar choices.  One at a time.  I can’t go cold turkey, but we can all make smarter choices.  Honey instead of white sugar.  Whole grain bread instead of those decadent holiday biscuits.  Organic Blue Corn Tortilla chips instead of Nacho Cheese Doritos.  Almond milk instead of whole cream.  If you can’t give up the booze, try Vodka and soda instead of white wine or beer.  It doesn’t have to be a huge change, just be conscious of your choices, and TRY…every little bit adds up to a well of good.

more info? here’s a great TED talk re “your brain on sugar:”


5) Eat a Rainbow

My kids freak out when I say this. They say “what? there isn’t any PURPLE food!”  But there IS!  Like purple chard, purple cabbage, kohlrabi, purple potatoes…the list goes on!  ”Well, ok, MOM but I’m sick of eating chard! ” And truthfully eggplant is just kinda yucky.  They say: “and there isn’t any BLUE food!”  But what about blueberries? and blackberries? and boysenberries?  Blue food is delicious!

The thing is, all the nutrition and vitamins and minerals that you need are right there in your food (assuming you are eating organic).  It is fun and entertaining and creative to try to get all six colors into your diet each day!  And then, guess what? you won’t feel as DEPLETED.

Now, my family went to a Broncos playoff game party the other day, and there was A LOT of orange food! and blue food too!  But MOST of it wasn’t very healthy to say the least.  So mind yourself, and don’t use the “Rainbow Rule” to eat Cheetos and goldfish crackers!


6) Eat Healthy Fats

Yay!  Yes, you CAN!  Let yourself eat avocados, bacon, butter, olive oil (raw), coconut oil, & macadamia nuts!  ”But wait,” you say, “aren’t those really fattening?”  Oh, come on, after all the new studies and health info out there, you can’t still really believe that can you?  That lowfat diet from a decade ago was a MISTAKE.  Healthy fats are REALLY good for you.  Just not in excess so don’t go “hog-wild!”

Avocados truly are good fats.  According to the American Heart Association, “good fats are those that can lower bad cholesterol levels and are beneficial when consumed in moderation. Avocados contribute good fats to one’s diet, providing 3 grams monounsaturated fat and 0.5 polyunsaturated grams fat per 1-oz. serving.
They are cholesterol- and sodium-free, and more than 50 percent of the fruit’s fat content comes from monounsaturated fats.”  Plus, they make for really nice skin.

And you’ve heard the Omega-3 schpiele right?  Ok, here’s the sum up:

“Omega-3 fatty acids may have significant benefits in lowering the risk of heart disease. They may also protect against depression, dementia, cancer, and arthritis. Omega-3 fatty acids are found in higher amounts in salmon, walnuts, and spinach.”

But here’s the key folks.  You CAN”T have your cake and eat it too.  If you decide to eat the healthy fats, then you really DO have to cut back on your sugars.  Which would YOU rather have?  Me, I pick BACON.   And, butter is just better.


more info:–margarine-chemical-gunk.html


7) Get Back to Nature

Wait don’t roll your eyes!  It’s not what you think…I’m not saying you should be all hippy-trippy and go camping in the Mendocino Redwood Forsest without bathing or shaving for three weeks!  No, just be sure everyday to take a moment.  Take a moment to recognize that we are on planet EARTH.  It really helps to keep perspective and to add a breath of life to your day to remember the GREEN things.  Health is about BALANCE.

This can be as easy as taking a walk through your neighborhood and looking up and the canopy of trees.  It can mean opening your car window while you are driving and breathing in the AIR.  Try to listen to the birds outside your window in the morning.  Or spend some time in your yard, pruning bushes, or picking a bouquet of flowers.  If you work in an office building, maybe there is a fountain in the lobby or outside?  Although not entirely “natural,” at least take a minute to listen to the running water.  It may seem silly, but it is balancing.  And calming.  And that adds to your health and well-being.

more info:


8)  Set an Intention

Yes, this seems a bit airy-fairy new age.  ”What, you want me to sit and talk to myself?”  YES.  This is AGE old advice.  Give yourself your own attention.  It is a gift.  How often do we have time for ourselves?  So take a moment, either in the morning or evening, before or after a hard days work, to remember what you are here for.  This can be the same moment that you are “getting back to nature” as they go hand in hand.  Try to imagine your priorities.  NO, this does not mean you will apply yourself more at work in order to make more money.  Although it could mean you would like to apply yourself more at work in order to strengthen your abilities, learn something new, or maybe to allow yourself to be present and focus.DownloadedFile

Intentions are different than dreams and desires.  They are not wants or needs.  Remember the bigger picture and focus on things that do the greater good.  As my friend Dawn reminded me recently, “focus on your compass, not your clock.”  The compass represents our long term life goals and what is REALLY important.

Some of the intentions I have set for myself so far this year (in addition to taking it slowly, and being patient with myself) have been to try to be more present and forgiving,  to remember to treat myself gently,  to do at least three things in a day that make me happy, and most importantly, I try to forgive myself….


9)  Forgive Yourselfimages-1

You are NOT perfect.  You never will be.  That is OK.

There are so many nifty little sayings regarding this easy to say, but hard to do task.  They all seem pretty cliche if read with half a heart.  But to really hear the saying, and apply it, is the work.  I love to follow the work of Byron Katie on facebook.  Each day a new little one-liner that puts me in-line.  Or another great inspiration for me is Marianne Williamson.  But wherever you find it, remember to be kind to yourself.

images-2Allow yourself to be YOU.  You will still exist weather you do or not, so you might as well give yourself a break, and get started LIVING.

more info:


10) Forgive Others

images-8For me this is MUCH easier to do than to forgive myself because I’d rather take on the blame than place it.  But for many the reverse is true.  So much easier to point at someone else and say “YOUR FAULT!”  Remember though, one finger pointed elsewhere is three pointed back at you.

My children do this often.  ”She made me spill my juice!”  ”Well, actually, no she didn’t.  She walked by quickly on her way to the door.  YOU spilled your juice, son.”  When you are uncomfortable INSIDE yourself, it is no one else’s fault.  Controlling the world around you to make yourself feel better doesn’t work, because ultimately, you will loose control.  You can’t control other people or things.  It is your stuff.  Be in it.  Be responsible for your own actions and leave others out of it.  Forgive them for walking by too fast.

images-7One NEVER knows what that person has on their plate.  Try not to judge.  In LA it is sooooo easy to JUDGE.  Road rage is a prime example.  ”GEEZ, did you see that! That guy just cut me off!”  Rather, I try to remain calm.  It must be really important where they are headed.  If so, God bless you on your journey.  Please, go ahead.  Maybe their father is in the emergency room having just had a stroke?…Be kind.  Be patient.  Forgive.

Oh wow, if only I could manage more often to do just that with my children!  Ooooo they drive me to the very edge!

Believe me, this is not me preaching to you how to be perfect like me.  Oh hell no.  This is me reminding myself to do the work.  Not just everyday, but literally every ten minutes or so, I try to take a deep breath and start again.  2014.  Yep, I’ll be taking it one moment at a time with hundreds of thousands of mistakes in between that will present me with that many opportunities to do better.  I know it will be an amazing year.  Just as they all have been so far.  Not always easy, but amazing certainly.  This year, again, I will grow.

I sure  hope you’ll join me!

Coby Dahlstrom (#mrsdrdahl)”